Last Day

Surreal. That’s the only word I can think of to describe how I feel right now.

Right now, on the plane from Sydney to L.A. The never-ending flight.

Its surreal… still I haven’t comprehended the fact that its over.. that I’ve left. I haven’t slept in 2 days, besides some dozing off here on the plane… and that’s not exactly helping me think clearly either. The last week is like a blur now… I must do my best to hold on to it.

Lot’s of BBQs, lots of time at the beach, and lots of time spent with friends. We knew they were our last days together, so we made the most of them and enjoyed every minute with each other. I also made sure to go to all my favorite places in Adelaide for the last time… Sumo Salad, the river, Rundle Mall, Central Market, my coffee shop, Cibo…

My last day was Saturday and my flight was leaving at 6am Sunday morning, so my friends and I just decided I may as well not sleep and then sleep on the plane. I woke up very early Saturday and packed up all my things… it was hard, packing up all my belongings.. taking the sheets off my bed.. packing up all my clothes.. my memories… it made it more real than before.

At 3pm I met up with Nina and Rene and Cibo for lunch and a coffee and we all brought our laptops so we could share photos and music. I was very emotional… walking down the streets I knew so well that I would never walk down again… spending time with my best friends I will probably not see again… and listening to the accents I will miss so much.

I was choked up the whole day, but the first time I really started losing it was after I ordered my coffee. All I had to say was “Hey, can I get a cappuccino?” and the barista asked me immediately where in America I was from. Its definitely not the first time I’ve said just 5 words and was immediately pinpointed as American.

He and I chatted for a few minutes and had a really nice conversation. As I took my coffee back to our table I realized how much I’m gonna miss that… having an accent… being interesting to people, different… and, again, just the way the Australians talk. Really. They could get away with anything I think.

All of a sudden as I sat down, tears filled my eyes and I realized how much I would truly miss Australia. Luckily Rene and Nina were there to cheer me up and assure me we were going to have a great last day together.

After our coffee date, I had to head home to finish up the rest of my packing before 6. One of our good friends, Martin, was having a farewell party/birthday party/BBQ thing for one last time all of us internationals would be together. Most of us are leaving between Sunday and Tuesday to go travel. We planned to spend the entire night together then I would leave straight after around 4:30 taking a cab with my friends Mark and Daniel who also had a flight at 6. So I had to be completely ready to go pretty much.

At 6pm the BBQ started at Urbanest. Everyone came. We all had wine, salads, and meat together… people were sharing stories and favorite memories… some exchanged photos. There were some gifts given, some tears shed, and many promises to meet up again later in life. Some people brought Australian flags they had bought and had everyone sign them with a silver marker... a really nice, inexpensive souvenir of our time here together.

I was kind of a wreck.. on the edge of losing it the entire evening. I couldn’t pretend that I was happy. Partially still in shock that it was our last time together, I was much quieter than usual and spent a little too much time standing off on the side of things just watching everyone together and being overwhelmed by the feelings I was feeling. It was too much.

At midnight the group of us sang Happy Birthday to Martin and presented him with a birthday cake, gifts, and a card we had all signed. I think most people at that moment found tears in their eyes.

After that all of us headed out to a nearby pub we go to a lot. For a while there, all of us dancing together, with the music filling our ears and the flashing rainbow lights, it felt like just another night… For as long as I could, I made myself forget we were all leaving.

After that, like I said, it’s a blur. Goodbyes… crying… long, tight hugs… it didn’t seem real. Each person I met here on this trip changed me, however significantly or insignificantly. I learned so much from all of them… about the world, and about myself. We experienced Australia together… we made memories together we will keep till we die. We bonded… helped each other… were each other’s families for a semester. Several of those goodbyes were some of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. It hurt SO badly. A hurt I’ve never felt before. Almost numbing.

At 4am I said my goodbyes. At 4:30 I was standing in front of the Village with my 2 humongous suitcases waiting for Daniel and Mark to arrive in the cab, and at 6am I was alone in a plane, watching the sunrise over Adelaide as we ascended higher and higher in the sky, farther and farther away. It was all so fast. All of it.

After suffering through the airport in Sydney, I barely made it to my Delta flight to L.A. Now I’m here on the plane heading back to the United States. I am really out of it… tried to sleep, unsuccessfully. Watched 3 movies already. Haven’t moved a muscle in 10 hours… and I don’t really want to dwell too much on the pain of last night.

Once I get to L.A. I have to catch my flight to Atlanta where I will be stuck for 4  hours, then, finally, will catch my flight to Indy. Then, finally back home.